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Sexual Health Month Q&A - Sex Postpartum

This Sexual Health Month, I've focused my attention on answering some questions sent to me by our community of Mamamates! I wish the topic of sex wasn't so "off-limits" It just seems so odd, you know. It's natural, we all think about it, we all do it, and it would make perfect sense just to have a chat about it. So, me being me, I decided to open up the discussion and asked our Instagram community for questions that they needed answering. After all, it's World Sexual Health Month, and it's the perfect time to talk about how "un-sexual" or even unfamiliar we feel in our bodies after having a baby! It's no wonder our sex life and perspective towards the topic might have taken a hit! 😬

So here it is, my unapologetic Q&A about Sex Postpartum.

It's been nearly 8 months postpartum and we're just not that into it like we used to be?

  • That's completely understandable! You're both probably exhausted and sleep-deprived by the end of the day and not to mention the dynamic between you and your partner changes after having a baby! It's not exactly the combination to put you guys in the mood for sex. It might help you know that suppressing your libido after birth is your body's way of preventing another pregnancy too soon. So, don't put so much pressure on yourselves! When the moment is right, it'll just happen. ✨

Can't stop comparing my postpartum body to my body before kids

  • That's a part of motherhood that we all go through; I certainly did! The truth is that we need to learn to love this "New self" instead of putting ourselves down. It definitely takes time, and it can be a rollercoaster of emotions! Try out ways that help - Go to the salon to pamper yourself, take a little walk for a pick me up, communicate with your partner! Also, explore your new body by taking yourself for a test drive in the bedroom! Just remember that you are beautiful before and after your baby! 💜

Our sex life is non-existent! I want to try and get physical but I don't feel confident or even know how to initiate it

  • Ahhh, I feel your pain! The best advice I can give is to communicate; we sometimes forget that our partner's life has also be turned upside down by the arrival of a little human! Secondly, just go for it, stop worrying about it too much or think, "what if". Don't underestimate the power of a gently escalating kiss and a little touching or the value of a quickie to reignite your sex life. This will help to remind you both of what you miss about each other and yourself. No matter what strategy or technique you try, be sure to take it easy and read the moment. 🥰

We've just had our first baby, and we aren't doing the deed. How should I support my wife!

  • So how do you handle it if your woman isn't ready? In a nutshell, practice patience. Ask her how you can support her best. Listen, and demonstrate understanding. The whole birth thing is basically "trauma" for you and her (Mostly for her). So, follow her lead. Pro tip - Women need to feel supported and sexy, and let's not forget reassured and valued! The more comfortable you both feel, the more comfortable she will be. Just be romantic under any circumstances, and when it's time, it'll be worth it 😉

Recommendations on spicing up our sex life

  • Don't be afraid to buy yourself a toy, sex toys aren't talked about much, but most people have them. I would highly recommend apps like @Dipsea - It's perfect for guiding your sexual desires and body exploration. They even have sexy audio stories that spark your imagination and get you and or your partner in the mood! Try changing up locations - maybe another room in the house or a getaway night at a hotel! I would also recommend watching something spicy on Netflix to get you both going, maybe give Sexlife ago? There's a reason why Bridgerton on Netflix was so popular 😅

How soon after a c-section can you have sex?

  • It takes your body about six weeks to heal! That's the amount of time it takes for the inside of the uterus and the cervix to fully close back up. This is why all postpartum women should avoid intercourse and tampons until they've had a "good to go" at their six-week check-up. After that, it's all about time and patience! Like any new parent, it's normal to have a few awkward encounters with your partner, hence why a sense of humour help to laugh it off. Pro Tip - if something doesn't seem normal, don't hesitate to contact a doctor or midwife. 😇

That's all, for now, folks; if you have any questions or even thoughts that you'd like to share, please get in touch, and I'd love to have a chat about what sexual health postpartum means to you!

I hope this helps,

Love,
Himanshi @ Mamamade

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