In the chaos of parenthood, it's all too easy to lose sight of the romance. Whether you are a new parent just getting to grips with it all, or a thankful one now that the kids have gone back to school after the summer holidays - it can all sometimes feel like a bit too much for you and your partner (if you've got one).
I can't explain how important it is to become a tag team. No matter how much we try to keep up a strong "I can do it all" front, the truth is that we all need some kind of support - or even a break at times! So, if you're single, got a partner, a close friend or even if you're thinking about getting into the dating world again, just remember that you've got to keep sight of who you are physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is why you've got to date your partner - and if you're single, take yourself on a date! 😘
Here are four top tips for keeping that romantic fire alive.
Plan it and don't cancel (Unless you really have to)! in the moment, it can all feel horribly corporate, but trust me! Make those reservation calls and take out your calendar to 'finalise a date'. It really works and helps by making you feel super organised! You'll feel like you've got a social life again, and you may even feel a little nervous - because we as parents always find an excuse to cancel or reschedule. But this time fight the urge. Treat yourself and your partner to actual quality time, in or out of the house. And when the night comes, try your hardest to avoid any temptation to stick to the usual evening routine - you know the one! Putting your kids to bed, sitting in your pyjamas in front of either the TV or your phone and scrolling endlessly, contemplating your life decisions (...we've all been there). A word of advice: Take out that outfit that you've been saving for a special occasion and wear your most glamorous smile! You'll have a great time no matter where you go, and it'll feel just like the old times.You know, when I said "in or out of the house", yeah, I meant that! When you put some effort in, little home-dates actually are perfect too. But that's only if you make sure you're doing something special! It might sound like a lot of effort but actually get "dressed"!! Wear something cute yet comfy, light a few candles, dim the lights and cook something together or have fun with some role-play MasterChef (We don't judge)! If that's not your sort of thing, then you could always get a takeaway - Set the table a little differently to give you restaurant vibes, or just put down a duvet and some pillows for the perfect movie in bed setup. You get the idea! Try and live your best movie romance scenario in that moment. Top tip - try and put both of your phones somewhere on vibrate so that you don't have to worry about distractions, and set a limit so that you can check on them every few hours! It's always good to lay down some ground rules if you're in this for the win.
Keep "those" topics off-limits! You know the ones I mean. Seriously, don't even think about them! By the time you get around to spending some quality time with yourself or your partner, it's going to be all-too-tempting to reflect and catch up on the various orders of business. We know the temptation to address the issue of your to-do list, the nappy bin being emptied or where dirty dishes are supposed to go. Resist! Date night just isn't the time to think about your workload or argue with your partner. Try to keep things light and positive (however difficult that can be); try a quick breathing exercise, or something that I do is write my thoughts down! Anything that you want to say but probably shouldn't at that moment, try journaling a few days or hours before the evening. Do whatever helps you to stay calm, positive and most importantly, in love! If you think that you will have a good time, then you most probably will!
Forget the guilt! The truth is that you both may feel bad leaving the kid. The first time is always the worst. But it does get easier, and then before you know it, you're on a week-long getaway without the kids (No? Just me? Okay!). You can't pour from an empty cup. You both deserve a night out, a night away. If you're worried about your child so much that it stops you from enjoying yourselves. I find that getting hourly photo updates really helped (until you are a little more relaxed). And guess what? Your child also benefits from being around other people! So, don't stress and have a good night. The best advice I can give you would be to accept help from others and take people up on their offers to babysit. If that's not an option, then try getting a babysitter! You are allowed to be more than just a parent for a night.
Go have a good time and let me know how you get on!
Lots of love,
Himanshi @ Mamamade