We all know how amazing it feels when your partner just does things without asking! It's like a breath of fresh air; as usually, it's not until the 24th time before the job gets done. Well, we asked our Mamamade community what they wish their partners would JUST DO! And trust us, we can relate 😅
This blog can be used for many situations, for example, whether you want to re-light that spark between the two of you or get into their good books after a telling off. Follow these along with a few more that might be personal to your relationship for the best results! And here's an idea, send this blog off to them, or keep reading if you're the culprit! 😉
Here's what our community would like their partners to do...
"Bring me coffee in the morning."
Yes, yes and yes to this one! Who doesn't love a little pampering? It's not like we're asking for too much here. It's so important to communicate your needs and wants to your partner; as much as we'd like to think that they'll be able to read our minds, it doesn't always work like that. So, tell them how much it would mean to you and how it would make you feel! A little bit of kindness can go a long way and can sure as hell set your day off with a good start. You could even think of it as an investment (A cherry on the top)! The more you do it, the likely it is for the tables to turn once in a while. You've got to model the behaviour you wish to see 👀 So, yeah, get them a coffee in the morning and maybe a slice of toast or something. Ohh, and while you're there, do it for yourself too! Go back and put a gleaming smile on each other's faces while you sit there talking about stuff. Yes, I did just say talking about stuff. Put your phones to one side and accept a little time in the morning to share as a couple 🙌🏼
"Tidy up after themselves."
Come on now! We're all adults here (Hopefully 🔞). I get it life gets in the way, and we can't always have our "shirts" together if you know what I mean 😅 So, I'm telling you now... on behalf of your partner! "Put your boxers in the wash basket, not next to it" 🤦🏻♀️ "Pick up your clothes off the floor, you're not a teenager", "clean your hair up off the sink once you've trimmed your beard" and "put the good damn dishes in the dishwasher". Wow, I'm really sensing some frustration here, people! Right, let's calm things down here with a top tip. If you want your partner to see all the things you actually do in the house, why not stick up a board or even a piece of paper ticking things off. I completely get it; sometimes, we only see what's there. I do it all the time myself! Think about it by using this technique, you might even do more chores than you usually would, and this time, you've got evidence! ✅
"Show some affection."
Who's got time for that when you've got a full-time job, a child running havoc and a body that feels like you're in your 90s. The struggle of everyday life can be so depressing! Which is exactly why we need to shake things up a bit... You cannot go on like this, my friend! All you need is a little spice, a little bit of hot sauce to get you tuned up 🥵 Okay, maybe that's going a bit too far. But start by putting some music on, give them a romantic hug once in a while and most importantly, tell them how much you appreciate and love them.
If you need a little help in this area it might be worth checking out this fantastic guide to sexuality for mothers in collaboration with Smile Makers. I've also written some blogs that might make a difference: Sexual Health Month - Get To Know Your Postpartum Body and Sexual Health Month Q&A - Sex Postpartum.
No matter who you are, we all want to be wanted, and we all deserve that. So, listen here, you 👇🏻 We are human, and we enjoy, carve and need physical touch, passion and verbal affection. So you better have that scheduled in for this week!
"Put the effort in and be romantic."
Putting effort into yourself, making yourself presentable for your partner, make them feel the sparks when you set your eyes on them ✨ It's not just for the movies; make it a reality. Be the romantic character from the films and recreate that real-life "swoop them off their feet" moment, organise a dinner at a restaurant or maybe even a surprise getaway. Who wouldn't want that? There are many excuses that you can bring to the table, but I know that if you try hard enough, you can also come up with a solution! Get a babysitter, ask your friends and family for help.... DO ANYTHING! But please don't stop making your partner feel valued. Check out this blog I wrote "How To Date Yourself Or Your Partner" for four top tips to keep that romantic fire alive 💜
"Stop with the strategic incompetence."
This, my fellow partner, is a word that describes the art of avoiding undesirable tasks by pretending to be unable to do them! We've all done it at some point; my prime example would be, "I don't want to do the laundry, could you do it instead? I don't want the colours to run, and you are amazing at getting the stains out" 😱 OMG, This is a genius way to avoid work whilst giving a compliment and getting away with not doing the chore! It turns out that "the threat that you'll do a job badly is a good way to avoid having to do it at all." This is pure manipulation and will not get you very far within the relationship, especially as I'm here to spread the word about it. No more tricks; you need to be honest with your partner, willing to communicate and sometimes even do the things you don't want to! It's life... you can't get away with everything all of the time. Why not meet in the middle, you do half the job, and your partner does the other half. Like my toddler now likes to say, "Sharing is caring" so share your dreaded tasks 💁🏻♀️.
Is it just me, or do you also feel that there's a sense of inequality regarding the day-to-day workload within the answers we received from our community? No matter what the relationship, there's always one person doing more than the other, this family dynamic might work for some, but I'm sure that it almost always has a toll on your mental load! So, if that feels about right, have a read of - What You Need to Know About Parental Burnout, Dads & Mental Health: Postpartum Depression in Men and How To Support A Partner With Postpartum Depression or Anxiety.
I hope this helps you or your partner get into the good books!
Let me know If you have any more anonymous messages that need to be addressed 😅
Lots of love,